The Ballad Of Ianto Jones
by Ianto JonesHarkness
Summary: Ianto had always known that he could never be Jack s only. But he tried.


Characters: Jack/Ianto, The Doctor, Gwen

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance, Angst

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death

Disclaimer: Torchwood & Doctor Who's characters, belongs to BBC and R T Davies et c. I don`t make any profit.

Summary: Ianto knew he would never be the only one for Jack.

There had been ten rift alarms since 9 am that morning. Come noon and lunch time Ianto had been utterly battered. The coffee he had been drinking hadn`t helped and now he was tiding up the already tidy tourist office he held as a cover up for the underground base that was their hub, their Torchwood.

"You okay?" Jack´s american accent reached Ianto´s ears, that voice could melt him to a pool of goo anytime. Even when it was mad. Maybe more when Jack was mad. Well, Ianto had his own fetishes, not only the captain had them.

Ianto put away the last leaflet for a museum in Cardiff neatly on his counter and turned around to the secret door where Jack was leaning against it.

"Yeah. knackered and in a need of a massage but otherwise fine."

Jack`s lips turned into a full on grin, the naughty smile Ianto called it, to the olders amusement. " Well after that alien with tentacles today, I think we all need a...massage."

Raising an eyebrow in disapprovement, Ianto tutted. " If there is anything you need...Sir. Then it`s a shower. A cold one."

Jack fained a hurt look and pouted with his lips. " You`re no fun."

" I`m tired Jack. Go play with the others like a nice little boss." Ianto winced at his own sarcastic choice of tone. He hadn`t meant it to come out like that. It had sounded like he didn`t want Jack around. In truth, he couldn`t breathe like normal when Jack wasn`t near. On his own he was engulfed by his own thoughts and darkest memories and they scared him, surrounded him with blame,hatred and sorrow. Ianto´s gaze flickered down for a second to his hands and he flinched when he could once more see the blood of Lisa on them, thick and red. But as he closed his eyes and opened them again, his hands was once again clean.

Jack had noticed the sudden change of mood and the color drain from Ianto´s face as he flinched at his own hands. Jack moved away from the door, closer to his lover. Looking him up and down. " Ianto?"

"I`m..fine. Tired that`s all. " Ianto broke away his gaze from his hands, careful to avoid Jack`s eyes. Then he saw it. How could he have missed it? A brown letter laying on top of a pile of leaflets. In plain open.

"Is this yours? " Ianto picked it up, moving behind his sanctuary, happy to have found a distraction from any questions about his health.

Jack leaned over the counter, his eyes moving fast over the paper in Ianto`s hands. He frowned deeply, a dark look shadowing his handsome face. Before Ianto could read the letter for himself, Jack had snatched it away from him.

"Jack? What is it? "

"Nothing." Jack had already turned on his heels and was heading back towards the hub. His greatcoat making a swishing sound as he went.

" You never tell me anything! " The words sounded childish, even to Ianto himself. They were true though. Jack never did tell him anything important. Ianto had thought that he knew more then the others about Jack, but when it came right down to it, he knew nothing at all. For starters, Captain john Hart and a time agency? Not to mention the Doctor! Jack had left Ianto for another man for god`s sake! It wasn`t even a man when you thought about it, alien most likely.

Jack stopped with a hand on the door. " No I don`t. And I`m sorry for that Ianto. But it`s my past..."

" Stop with the "It`s my past" shit talk Jack! I`m tired of it." Ianto`s voice broke and he whispered teary eyed. " Please."

Ianto saw Jack cringe, torn from spilling his guts to just shut it in as he has always had done. Then he turned around as he came to a decision, his face stale and grim. " It`s none of your business, but...I have a son. And the Doctor left me this letter. " Jack held the letter up infront of him, making a point. " I`m a fixed point in time, I`m a fact. I`m wrong." Ianto opened his mouth to protest but Jack held up his other hand to silence him. "But my son isn`t. And he`s dying. " Ianto gasped and made a move to comfort Jack, but found that the other backed away from him.

" Don`t. "

Ianto felt the mix of hurt and jealousy hit him hard like a pile of bricks. Sure Jack had pushed him way before, but this was different. Not that Ianto minded that Jack had a child, he was bound to have atleast one, it was Jack after all and he had already lived a thousand lifetimes, lifetimes without him. "I can`t handle this anymore Jack. The secrets, not knowing if you`re going to leave once more. The way you shut me out of your life..."

Jack stared at him, unfaced by Ianto´s words. Or so it seemed. " You knew from the beginning what I was. I warned you. "

choking back a sob Ianto stood his ground. " You did. But I want more Jack..I..Lo.." He shook his head, regretting what he just was about to say. " I don`t know what I`ll do without you. "

This time Jack reacted, and he stepped toward the younger, grabbing him by the arm. "You want to end it? " His tone was more harsh then Jack had intended, though too late to take it back he continued. " Just go then. I don`t need you. " The grip around Ianto`s arm quickly became painful as Jack put pressure on it.

Ianto winced." You don`t mean that. " But Ianto wasn`t so sure. Jack had been fine for decades without him. He hesitated a moment before he shrugged off Jack`s hold on his arm and glared with newly lit anger at him. Ianto wasn`t going to let this row pass lightly.

" I don`t want to end it. And you do need me more than you think. "

Tears flooded Ianto´s eyes as he blinked them away. " Let me help you, Jack." Then his vision blurred and he stumbled, Jack just barely caught him before he hit the cold hard floor.

"Ianto! Ianto!" Jack swore, tapping his hidden earpiece with a free hand as he held Ianto`s limp body with his other. "Owen! I`m coming down with Ianto! He`s unconscious."

" I can`t believe you! You dumped him!"

" No actually... "

" Don`t bullshit me Jack, you did!"

" Watch the words Cooper, there`s children around."

"More then one it seems!"

Ianto could hear voices, they were loud, angry, shouting at eachother. Gwen and Jack`s voices he presumed. He tried to see through all the blur, just making out the features of Gwen by his side, holding his hand. It should be Jack doing that,not her, he quickly thought, pressing the thought away just as fast as it came.

Moving his arm a bit, he groaned, letting the duo know that he was awake.

"Oh Ianto love, how are you feeling?" Gwen`s voice chirped at once.

Jack just stood by Gwen`s side, trying to look casual. Failing miserably if you asked Ianto. Jack was fidgeting with his braces, pulling on them. As Ianto came to, he found that he was laying on top of the wear down sofa in the middle of the hub. Jack`s scent reached Ianto´s nose and looking down he saw he was covered with the thin sheets from Jack´s own bed. Gwen wouldn`t have made the trouble to get it from the manhole that was Jack`s bedroom, Jack wouldn`t have let her near it. So that just left Jack. Ianto smiled, despite himself. Jack did care.

" Like a weevil played hockey ,using me as the puck."

Something moving behind Jack made Ianto jump up to a sitting position, his head made him feel dizzy, but the trained Torchwood operative instincts in him was much stronger than his body. Locating his gun he pointed it directly at Jack. "Jack move!" Jack didn`t even flinch. Just standing there, looking blank. A frown appeared on Ianto`s face as his hands shook the gun.

" Ianto put that away! you`re scaring him." Gwen butted in, carefully removing the weapon from the shaking welshman. As Ianto watched, a small boy, no alien, Ianto corrected, peered out from his hiding spot behind Jack, holding onto Jack`s trousers with a deathgrip. The alien child , Ianto figured it was a child, the child´s skin was a shade of dark blue, his hair the same but his eyes was pure emerald green. Looking closer Ianto could see white sharp teeth in the boy´s mouth. He was wearing normal human clothing, no doubt a help from Gwen`s he looked human, no other distinct alien anomalies so far Ianto could see.

"What the bloody hell is that?" Ianto sunk back on the sofa, still on his toes but more relaxed that the alien was no threat.

""That" is my son. " Jack`s arm came to settle on the alien´s shoulders. "This is Giacomo. He`s half Scaraxgarophobios. A beautiful race that is."

Ianto was dumbfounded, gaping like a goldfish, opening,closing and opening his mouth for atleast a good whole minute.

Trust Jack to have a son of a alien. And a son named after the great Casanova non the less. Made sense, as Casanova was nicknamed "Jack". Poor kid,

scarred for life, Ianto thought.

"How?" Ianto managed, the shock still settling in on him. He was hoping Jack understood the question and wouldn`t explain the whole act about how Giacomo came to be. Ianto shuddered.

"The Doctor passed by while you were out of it. You`ve been out cold for two days now. I..We were worried. "

" You didn`t go with him?"

" Why would I? " Jack smiled for the first time in their conversation, a smile Ianto had missed. " I belong here. At Torchwood."

"Yeah you do."

"Guys. I hate spoiling this lovely moment but I have to go. Rhys is waiting at home with a lovely dinner...and the others has already left...so..?" Gwen looked hopefully at Jack, her eyes big as a puppy´s. Ianto hated that she had a way to get what she wanted. She had that amazing effect on Jack and he envied it to no end. She actually got away with Rhys knowing about Torchwood!

"Go. I`ll call if we need you." Jack smiled and patted her shoulder. "Have fun."

"Will do, captain!" She smiled and ran for the cogwheel door. Apparantly frightened that the riftalarm would go off in any moment Ianto mused.

The hub fell silent as the cogwheel door rolled shut. All Ianto could hear was the distant screeching of Myfanwy from somewhere above them. He wondered if Jack had fed her while he was out of it.

"So. That`s your son. Bit young isn`t he?"

Jack smiled. "Don`t worry, he`s actually 10 years old. Well, in human years. It was before I met you. " Jack motioned for the boy to let him go and head back to his office. " I`ll be there in a minute. I have to talk to this rude man pointing guns everywhere." Jack joked, a glint in his eye. The boy nodded, giving Ianto a last frightened look and then sprinted for Jack`s office as if Ianto was going to hunt him down and kill him.

They were alone.

Drip

Drip

Drip.

Every drop from the tower could be heard as the silence settled between them.

Jack coughed. Ianto sensed that he wanted to talk but had a hard time forming the words. This was the Jack Ianto knew. The Jack who never could hide anything from him..so different from the other Jack. The Jack who broke his heart and mended it just to break it once again.

"I forgive you." Ianto finally said. "Even if you meant what you said, I forgive you. "

Jack stared, trying to form any sentence, anything. The welshman had caught him off guard with the sudden change of mood.

" I didn`t mean it Ianto. I was just..mad. "

" I know. So what now?"

The older frowned, looking bewildered at the question. Jack hadn`t thought that far. " I was hoping we could...Damn it Ianto, don`t make me say it."

The blue eyes of the welshman sparkled with delight at the sight of his captain struggling with his confession. He wasn`t letting Jack get out of this. "Say what, sir?" He smiled an innocent little smile as Jack groaned.

" That we could still be a couple. "

Ianto stood, the sheets from Jack`s bedroom falling from his still clothed hips as he moved to grab his lover. His hand pulled up to smooth away a stray hair from Jack`s face and he lingered just a while more at Jack`s neck, just feeling the blood pulsing under his hand. Ianto was Jack`s , but Jack would never be his. Ianto had long ago accepted that. He leaned in, touching his lovers lips gently with his own. "I love you" Ianto whispered as they broke apart for air. I`ll love you forever, Ianto thought sadly.

"What?"

" I said, what happens with Giacomo?" Ianto lied, not the first time in his life.

At first Jack didn`t seem to buy it, but shrugged it off as he held Ianto closer to his body. Wait, when did Jack pull him in? Must have been somewhere in the middle of the kiss. " Owen checked him over. Nothing he can do, some alien virus.." Jack felt Ianto twitch in his arms. He hurried on." It`s not harmful to us. But to Giacomo..." Jack`s gaze fell, his lips trembling.

"How long?"

"Days, hours, we don`t know. The Doctor wanted him to be with me as his mother passed away in some disaster." Jack`s blue eyes dimmed over, that hurt look of sadness Ianto had seen so many times on his Jack once more. He hugged him, kissed him.

" Go to him Jack. Read him a fairytale. Tell him your insane stories, just be with him. " Ianto nudged him away, smoothing out the wrinkles in his suit as he did.

"Dad! I want ice cream!" The blue boy appeared behind them, yanking on Jack`s braces.

"Of course you do. "

Sitting on the curb of the Roald Dhal Plass Ianto watched the smiling faces of his captain and the alien boy, now hidden underneath a hoodie. The coat he loved swayed behind Jack in the wind, making Ianto`s breath hitch a notch. Jack was breathtaking. How could anyone not love him? He watched as Jack teased the little one as he snatched the Ice cream cone and ran for it, the boy following with an angry shout. Ianto laughed but stopped abruptly as he heard a screeching sound from no where. He stood, looking around bewildered. What was it?

There, infront of him, a blue box with the letters spelling out "Police public call box" on it appeared. Ianto knew from his time in Torchwood one that this machine belonged to the Doctor. A frightened thought occurred to him in that exact moment. What if the Doctor was there to take Jack away from him again?

The door swung open and the happy face of the Timelord popped out to greet him.

"HELLOO! You must be Ianto. I`m the Doctor. " The Timelord put out his hand to shake Ianto`s. But Ianto didn`t move.

"I know who you are."

"Ah I see." the Doctor pulled his hand back to his pocket. "Well, how`s it going? God you`ll need sunscreen out here!" The Doctor shaded his eyes with his other hand.

Glaring Ianto snarled. " You`re not taking Jack with you again. I don`t care if the world is ending."

The Doctor looked appalled as to why even Ianto could be accusing him of such. He stepped out, putting a hand on Ianto`s shoulder. "I`m just here to see if they were getting along. " He turned his head to the side to look at the pair running about some meters away. "And I see that they are." He smiled broadly making Ianto smile back despite his better judgement.

But then the timelord looked directly at him, the smile fading at the serious look on his face. Ianto had seen the same look on many. He knew what was coming.

" If you stay with him, you`ll die. He doesn`t understand that his own immortality doesn`t extend to others around him. Leave him while you can Ianto."

Ianto simply smiled. " I`ll stay with him to my end. I love him."

The Doctor shook his head slowly. "I`m sorry. So sorry."

"I`m not."

The Doctor looked at him once more as he turned to head back into his TARDIS. "You`re an amazing man Ianto Jones. He`s a fool for not seeing it. " with that the Doctor vanished inside and Ianto watched as the machine de-materialized with that awful sound. How long he just stood there watching nothing, Ianto didn`t know, but he was suddenly broken out of his reverie by Jack shouting his name.

Ianto turned, a bright smile on his lips. The captain was running towards him, an ice cream cone in each hand and Giacomo after, his own ice cream melting away in his hand.

" I got you chocolate." Jack coughed between breaths as he calmed down from the sprint.

''Well, I wanted strawberry!'' Ianto taunted him, laughing as Jack snarled and stepped forward to smudge the Ice cream into his face.

This moment, just this blip in time. Was all Ianto wanted.


End file.
